The law of attraction can be a daunting concept to many individuals. The idea that our thoughts truly have the power to shape our future – our lives – can be overwhelming. How exactly do we put the law of attraction into action? How it can it help us choose the right partner? Do we need to monitor our thoughts every waking minute? How do we train ourselves to “think positively?”

I am a huge believer in the law of attraction and the way it can enhance all aspects of our lives – especiallyour love lives. Which is why I brought Dr. Lise Janelle as a guest on The Dating and Relationship Show. As a human potential expert and elite mindset coach, Dr. Lise breaks the law of attraction down into easy to understand concepts, and shows us how we can use to benefit our dating lives and relationships. In her teachings, it’s all about connecting with the heart – that’s when we allow ourselves to eliminate self-sabotaging beliefs and patterns, and thus experience true, inner happiness. The kind that comes from within. Yes, it exists, and yes, it’s achievable.

Dr. Lise asserts that experiencing challenges is part of the human condition. It’s inevitable, so know you’re not alone. “The whole point,” she said, “is not to avoid challenges, but to use them to your advantage.” So rather than allow our silly belief systems – often constructed during childhood – to hold us back, we need to live connected to the heart. “The heart is the seed of love, gratitude, wisdom and inspiration,” she said. And here’s where the blinders come off. “Love is not an emotion.”

Realizing this distinction is so fundamentally important in one’s journey to finding love. When we experience infatuation, we often choose t o turn a blind eye to all and any red flags. You know you’ve been there – that moment when your gut is screaming at you, yet you brush it off, and convince yourself you’re being dramatic. Here’s the thing – feeling this way is a sign. Trust your gut. It’s cliché, but it’s true.

Another truth bomb: “Chemistry is not the heart.” According to Dr. Lise, it’s actually really simple. “The aim of the relationship is to teach us how to love. When we love we feel happy.” You don’t feellove the same way you feel joy or anger. You EXPERIENCE love. Which brings you happiness. Happiness truly is the be all, end all. “Depression or dissatisfaction can often come from knowing what your heart wants and not taking the action to make it happen,” she said. “Admit what you want, and then take action. Align your actions to your desires.” Knowing yourself is what will allow you to find the love that you seek. It’s not about what your friends, your parents, or society is telling you what you should want. Only you can decide that.

Here are some of Dr. Lise’s amazing tips for choosing the right partner:

• Go for someone who wants to be with you. Someone who wants a relationship with you, who is interested in you. We don’t want mixed signals anywhere near us.
• Be with someone who has a track record of being a good friend. How do they talk about their exes? Are they there for their family? How do they treat service people?
• Choose someone who has similar core values. Someone on the same page, who wants the same things. (Where you live, what religion you practise? Kids??)
• Be with someone you have a great sexual connection with. Self-explanatory.
• People are looking for that perfect person. There is no such thing. If someone is going to love you, flaws and all, you need to be able to accept their flaws as well.

Remember, when we continue to be with someone doesn’t want the same things as us, then on some level, we’re sabotaging our happiness and embracing  fear. On some level we are afraid to accept and chase the thing we want. AKA a classic self-sabotaging action. Don’t do it to yourself! Be bold in going after your heart’s desires.

For more on how to use the law of attraction to bring love in your life, be sure to check out Dr. Lise Janelle’s episode on The Dating and Relationship Show.