Waiting to have sex until after marriage?

Yup, we’re going there.

Here’s the thing. In today’s dating landscape, people are having more sex than ever before. Men and women have stepped into their sexual identities and are embracing this sexual freedom and exploration. While this is seriously great, it can create added pressure for a lot of people. Dating culture has become hookup culture, and with that comes a lot more openness and willingness to have sex sooner, which can often make those who have more conservative ideals feel ashamed, or left out.

If you’re one of those people, there is nothing wrong with feeling that way.

Waiting to have sex – whether you’re waiting for marriage or for your relationship to reach a certain level – can be so strengthening for a couple.

It can allow you to get to know each other and build that trust.

However, if you’re withholding sex as a way to try and further a relationship, to try and control or dictate the progression of feelings, that’s not cool. Old rules no longer apply – just because you sleep with him within three months doesn’t mean he’s going to think you’re “easy” or move on to the next conquest. For one, that type of thinking is a huge disservice to a lot of men out there. Two, that’s just manipulative.

But if waiting to have sex is truly a part of your values as a human being, more power to you. If you want to wait, then you should wait. First and foremost, you need to act with integrity to yourself, regardless of the dating norms society has in place today. Waiting for a relationship to develop emotional intimacy and real substance can be truly impactful to the strength of your relationship and the way you view your partner (and vice versa).

Plus a little anticipation is always sexy.

Moral of the story? Have sex if you want to have sex. And if you don’t want to have sex? Then don’t . Be true to you, and don’t give in to the pressures of your friends, your boyfriends, or the media. Make decisions that are best for you, and then own them.

Be sure to check out the episode on Sex and Intimacy in Relationships on The Dating and Relationship Show.